Pure Karma

In a shadowy room the morning sunshine was trying to break through the cracks between a pair of badly hung blankets draped over a curtain rod. The room was in disarray. The closet was overloaded with clothing so much that it looked like it had vomited the contents out across the floor. The room smelled of a musky body odor from the clothes that were in need of laundering. Mixed in was the smell of incense meant to hide the stench.

The sound of two people snoring emanated from the bed. One snorted in the middle of a snore so loud that she woke herself up. Slowly emerging from under the blankets she yawned and then groaned. Even the action of yawning hurt her head. She sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes just holding her head in her hands and trying to get her bearings enough to stand up.

A rush of nausea and a bursting bladder sent her into a sudden lurch for the bathroom. Pulling down her underwear and plopping her butt down on the toilet gave her bladder permission to let forth a steady stream of urine.

She grabbed the trashcan next to the toilet and vomited loudly into it finishing with a couple of dry heaves and a loud belch. Grabbing the toilet paper she pulled off a large wad and wiped her mouth and threw it in the trashcan. With another wad of toilet paper she wiped the urine from her underside, got up and kicked off her underwear tossing it with her foot into a pile of dirty laundry on the floor of the bathroom.

The person in the bed was still snoring and oblivious to what had occurred in the bathroom. Satisfied, she closed the bathroom door and picked up a toothbrush and toothpaste. Squeezing a stripe of paste on her toothbrush she shoved it in her mouth and cleaned her teeth. The ritual ended with a spit in the sink and a swish and spit of water tinged slightly with blood.

Sniffing her armpits she then took off her tank top and reached into the shower and turned on the water. She ran a quick brush through her hair and stepped into the refreshing water.

In the bedroom the occupant of the bed got up and looked at the alarm clock.

“Shit!” he grumbled and got up and quickly found his clothes. Stumbling around he managed to get dressed. Near the door was an open purse. He went over to it. Looking first to the bathroom door he could hear the water of the shower running. He rifled through the purse and pulled out a wallet. There was a twenty and a few one-dollar bills in it. He snatched the money and threw the wallet down next to the purse and ran out the door slamming it behind him.

The slam of the door reverberated through the thin walls of the apartment.

“Sam?” The woman yelled from the shower. No answer. She shut off the shower and grabbed the tattered robe off the back of the door and ran out into the bedroom. A quick scan told her Sam was no longer here. She quickly moved toward the entry door and noticed her purse was on its side and the open wallet next to it. She looked in the wallet. Empty.

“Son of a bitch!” She said under her breath.

She opened the front door to an empty hallway. Slamming the door she ran to the bedroom and threw open the sliding door while grabbing a flowerpot with a dead unidentifiable plant in it.

Down on the street below was Sam just getting into a cab.

“Sam!” she screamed at him. He looked up and quickly moved into the cab.

“You thief! Don’t ever come back here!” with those words she flung the flowerpot at him. It smashed into the street as the cab rushed away.

Across the street a group of teenagers in jeans and t-shirts start catcalling and wolf whistling at her. She suddenly realized her robe was opened. She brazenly looked at the boys and grabbed both sides of her robe and flashed them. She then closed her robe, flipped a birdie at them and went back inside her apartment slamming the sliding door shut.

One of the blankets had fallen off the curtain rod and sunlight streamed across the floor and hit a shiny silver object. She went over and picked it up. A smile came over her face and then a chuckle. It was Sam’s new iPhone.  She pulled the back off and removed the battery.

“Don’t need you to using a GPS program to locate this baby.” She said to herself.

Walking back over to her purse she dug around and found her phone and made a call.

“Hey, how you been? I need to sell a new iPhone. Can you move it for me? Sure, see you in an hour. Bye.” With that she closed her own flip phone and put it back in her purse. Crossing over to the kitchen she located a zip baggy and sealed the iPhone in it and took it back to her purse and threw it in.

“Karma is a bitch,” she yelled out loud. “Pure karma.”

With that said, she headed back to the bedroom in search of something that would be clean enough to wear.